


5.88 Trillion Miles

by kiwisandwich (panconkiwi)



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Alternate Universe - The Magnus Archives, Based on a Dream, Bittersweet Ending, Canon-Typical Violence, Horror, M/M, Psychological Horror, TMA S4 spoilers, Very loosely fits with TMA canon, but don't think too hard about it
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-29
Updated: 2020-04-30
Packaged: 2021-03-02 03:09:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,069
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23918056
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/panconkiwi/pseuds/kiwisandwich
Summary: An avatar of the Vast falls in love with an avatar of the Lonely.
Relationships: Avi/Johann (The Adventure Zone)
Kudos: 5





	5.88 Trillion Miles

**Author's Note:**

> Technically based on two dreams. Don't think too hard about the plot.  
> Thanks to [Devin](https://archiveofourown.org/users/boldlygoingnowherefast) for betareading

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW for suicidal ideation.

Johann sits alone in the dark.

Maybe no one will find him if he stays there, quiet, unmoving. He has already avoided attention enough to sneak into one of the offices without being noticed, and everyone is so busy already. Surely Mother Eloisa has better things to concern herself than looking for him today.

The eclipse only comes once every three hundred years, after all.

They make so much noise, though. There isn’t such a thing as a perfectly still quietness, not in the church, and not this late at night, but today the voices in the dark seem frantic. Johann does his best to ignore them. He’s gotten good at it, but there’s only so much he can do when you don’t hear with your ears.

They don’t speak with their mouths.

The truth is, Johann can’t be alone. He’s wished for a moment of peace all his life, but this is as far as he can get. Hopefully, today of all days, they’ll finally leave him alone, if things go according to plan.

“There you are!” Says a real voice, from a real, human mouth. Brother Cedric is peering under the desk where he’s hiding, and though Johann can’t see his face, he knows Cedric is smiling. “We’re about to start and you’re nowhere to be found! Lucky for us, the voices pointed me to you. Aren’t they so helpful, Johann?”

Johann doesn’t answer. Not that Cedric cares about what he has to say.

“Come on, you don’t want to miss this. It’s a once in many lifetimes chance!”

“Who would want to miss the end of the world?” Johann says sarcastically, but Brother Cedric has already left the room. Johann considers hiding somewhere else, but he knows the second time Brother Cedric asks, it won’t be with a smile.

Johann walks where he remembers the stairs are from when he climbed up, but of course they aren’t there anymore. It takes time to find them again, and when he does there’s nothing to hold on the way down. He walks each step slowly, mostly to delay what awaits him on the first floor than avoid a fall. Falling almost sounds like a good option right now.

It’s a long way down.

He knows he’s almost there when the voices get loud. They’re singing, not just them, but everyone in the church. Johann clutches his mother’s pendant, and makes the final step before joining the rest of the congregation. He hopes no one will notice him there, but of course that doesn’t go as he wishes either.

“Johann, why aren’t you singing? You have a lovely voice!”

Johann can’t tell who’s talking under the dissonant melody of everyone coming together. The voice is hoarse; how long have they been doing this? Not long enough. They still sing with enthusiasm, expectation, anticipation. The ritual is said to take as long as a week, and they’re going to do this that long?

“Sing, Johann!” They say again, this time in tune, or out of it. There’s hundreds of people inside this building and no one is singing the same pitch.

It hurts. It hurts so much. How can anyone stand to be like this? Johann covers his ears, already regretting not running away. They wouldn’t have followed him. This is too important, and Johann is just one of a hundred. They don’t need him here. No one will notice if he runs away-

“Care to join us, Johann?”

Johann uncovers his ears. It’s useless, Mother Eloisa doesn’t talk with her mouth.

She stands next to him. Johann can feel her in the coldness of his body, almost, but not quite, touching him. He instinctively looks at her, or where the sound of her voice seems to come, but he has to turn away.

The darkness. It’s stronger where she stands. Not an absence of light, but the active withdrawal of it. A miniature black hole in the shape of a person. It makes Johann’s head hurt, even after he closes his eyes.

“I _see_ ,” she says, but it’s a rhetorical remark. No one can see in this church, least of all her. “you’re wearing your mother’s necklace today.”

Johann tries to clutch a hand around the pendant again, but it’s too late. Mother Eloisa gets her hand on it, and with each word she says, the chorus grows louder.

“She didn’t come back today either, did she?”

“Shut up…” Johann whispers.

“Such a shame, really. Waiting this long for nothing. Well, at least this way she gets to be a part of the Extinguished Sun. Isn’t that what she would’ve wanted, Johann?.”

“Shut up,” Johann says, though he’s not sure if he’s talking to the choir or Mother Eloisa.

“Sing with us, Johann. The choir is not complete without you.”

“I said shut up!” Johann yells before running away. “I can’t do this, I won’t-”

A cold, firm hand grasps his leg and Johann trips. He hits his head with a loud thud, and he doesn’t get the chance for the ringing in his ears to stop before another hand grabs one of his arms, and one his other leg, and his shirt, and his neck, his hand. The shadows cover every inch of his body. Except his mouth.

“Sing, Johann!”

“I don’t want to be part of this!”

“Oh, but Johann,” Mother Eloisa says. Her voice is all around him, “ _you’re already part of us._ ”

An ice cold grip, colder and harsher than any of the ones holding him down, grabs Johann’s face and makes him look up.

It’s The Dark. An absolute void that consumes everything around it. It burns in Johann’s eyes.

“ _Can you see now?_ ” Mother Eloisa says. “ _Can you see what will become of the world?_ ”

Yes. Yes, Johann sees. There will be nothing left but this pure, untouched Darkness…

There is a crash.

Mother Eloisa releases Johann from her grip, and so do the hands coming from the floor. Johann barely has the time to process what’s happening before a growl pierces the air and everyone stops singing.

And then, they’re screaming.

Johann gets up and runs away. He’s still blinded, the darkness imprinted on his eyes, like a very bright light of absolute nothingness void. He stumbles any way he can until he feels the wall leading up to the stairs, and then runs as fast as he can.

The way up is shorter. Johann doesn't stop until running head first against the wall at the end of the hall. It hurts like hell, but he sucks it up and feels around until he finds a door and walks in, closing it and locking it from the inside.

He stands there, taking a moment to finally catch his breath, and slowly his sight starts coming back.

This room isn’t dark.

Well, it is. It’s the middle of the night and there’s no light in the church, but Johann is so used to the absolute lack of light in every direction that the smallest ray of moonlight is like day for his eyes. It filters through one of the cracks in the ceiling.

The voices don’t speak in here. For the first time in his life, he finds himself truly alone.

Not for long if he lets them catch him, though. What could he do? Furniture. He could block the entrance. But this room is empty, bare of anything but the planks on the windows.

Johann considers his options. Any moment now a cloud could cover the moon and he’d be back in the dark again. Then, the voices would alert Mother Eloisa. Should he stay here, or risk getting out and finding a better equipped room?

He knows the north facing office on the other side of the hall has a desk, and that’s better than nothing, so Johann opens the door.

There’s no one outside, only the muffled sound of yelling in the distance. Like it’s coming from very far.

Something is… off about this.

But Johann doesn’t have the time to think about it. He enters the office. The first thing he does is push the desk against the door, and a chair, and then the bookshelf, and that’s it. Better than nothing, but still not enough to keep him safe forever. The voices are talking. This place is as dark as it should be, and that means they’ll soon know where he’s hiding, if they don’t already do.

Johann really hates the dark.

He walks towards the window and places a hand against the wood covering it. Maybe it’s the adrenaline rushing in his body, but Johann’s had enough. He grabs onto it, with all the strength he possesses, and after no small struggle manages to tear one of the planks off the window.

Light pours inside, just enough for the voices to quiet down.

Until they start screaming.

They pierce Johann’s ears, no matter how hard he covers them. It doesn’t last longer than a few seconds, but the sound leaves Johann feeling cold and shivering. He needs to get out. He needs to get out now, it’s impossible no one else heard that, and if the sound of things falling off and people screaming coming closer means anything it’s definitely bad for him.

Johann doesn’t stop to think anymore, he just rushes to the window again and pulls with all he’s got to tear another plank. This one is harder to remove, and it tears off in the middle, leaving the edges rough and full of splinters. Johann doesn’t care now, the hole in the window is big enough for him to leave through it. All he has to do is…

Jump.

It’s a twenty-foot fall.

Johann screams, “Fuck,” and he screams again, “fuck, fuck, fuck!” Why didn’t he run for the door? Why did he think running to the second floor was a good idea?

So he’s run out of options. He’ll either be caught any moment now, or plummet to his death in a foolish attempt to escape.

That’s when the door starts banging.

“I think there’s someone here!” A voice on the other side yells. Not one Johann recognizes, and they don’t sound hoarse or tired. Shit, what’s going on? Did the ritual end already?

 _Bang! Bang! Bang!_ Johann looks between the door and the window. Only two options.

Finally, the door bursts open, and a man’s figure enters the room.

“But… I could’ve sworn…” He says, confused about… something?

Johann doesn’t stay to see what. If the world is ending anyway, he wants to go out on his own terms.

He jumps.

“… Wait!” The man’s voice yells, too late to stop him.

Johann closes his eyes and braces himself for the impact as he falls.

And falls.

And falls.

Johann opens his eyes, and he sees the stars.

It was an overcast night just a second ago, and yet, the sky is clear now, stretching in every direction Johann can see. To his right, and his left, and up, and down.

What is up and down?

Johann knows he must be falling. He feels the wind against his face, the burning in his eyes, but the ground is nowhere to be seen. He’s not falling down, just falling.

Maybe this is hell, he thinks.

He’s fine with that, at least now he’s finally alone.

***

Avi’s still standing by the window when Killian arrives.

“Did you find anyone?” She asks as she rushes to the door.

Avi doesn’t face her at first, the smell of blood still overwhelms him a little. “He jumped.”

Killian nods. “Well, one less problem for now.” Avi can only see a pair of red eyes staring at him when he turns around. Good for the guy Avi found him first.

He still wonders about the window, though. This one wasn’t open when they surrounded the building, or else he would’ve climbed through it himself. Why would a member of the church let the light through?

Should he mention those things to Killian? Well, she ends up noticing on her own anyway. “You say he was alone in here?”

“Yeah.”

Killian hums, then nods to herself, giving Avi enough confirmation about his suspicions.

“An alliance?”

“That seems like the most likely explanation,” she says.

And yet, something about this place still bothers Avi.

“I wouldn’t jump to conclusions yet,” he says. “Pun not intended.”

Killian rolls her eyes. “Don’t test _my_ allegiances.”

Before Avi can give her his own snarky reply, a low, rumbling sound comes from the first floor, and then the room starts flooding with that liquid black substance.

“You gotta be shitting me!” Killian said as a growl grows in her throat. She doesn’t let the beast take a single step inside before tackling it down the stairs.

Avi follows her. He can talk to the jumper later.

***

Johann surprises himself with how fast he gets used to the fall. He hasn’t been able to sleep, but he’s not bored either. The wind doesn’t burn as hard as the void, and the vast sky feels like a luxury after weeks of preparation under the ceiling of the church. He wishes he could throw up, his stomach is in his throat, but it’s been hours and nothing comes out.

At least no one has found him here yet, in his personal circle of purgatory. He wonders if there has been a mistake or this is just exactly what he deserves. He feels there should be worse things in store for him.

And then, almost anticlimactically, he hits the ground.

It comes as a shock, and yet a relief. The fall is harsh, and it kicks the air out of his lungs for a moment. When he finally comes back to his senses, he realizes he hasn’t broken any bones. The ground is soft, too.

An unfamiliar, yet friendly smile appears on his field of vision. “Hey there!” A man says. “Very smart of you to hide in the Lonely, but when you jumped out of the window, you entered _my_ territory. I have some questions for you, please don’t try to escape again!”

Johann recognizes the voice as the man from the office. Now that he can get a good look at him, it’s clear he doesn’t belong to the church at all. His clothes, for one, have too much color in them.

The guy offers him a hand, but Johann looks at it warily. Instead, he takes a look around. They’re outside the church building, right under the office window, and more strangers roam around the yard. The first lights of day are breaking, and not a single member of the church is in sight. “What’s going on?” Johann asks, still sitting on the mattress. “It’s not the end of the world.”

The man seems to find his answer very amusing. “Thanks for noticing! The apocalypse has been cancelled. Some of us still haven’t caught up on Game of Thrones.”

And maybe it was the shock of being brought back to life, or the shock of the fall, or the constant shock that was living with the People’s Church of the Divine Host, but something about what Avi said just breaks Johann, and he bursts out laughing. 

He laughs, and laughs, and laughs. He’s alive, thanks to some ridiculous Deus Ex Machina, and he can’t stop laughing.

The man stares at him with a perfect mix of confusion and amusement. “Uh, I didn’t think it was that funny a joke.”

“It wasn’t,” Johann says, and he lies on his back again, staring at the sky, catching his breath. There aren’t as many stars as when he was falling, only the moon peeking through the clouds. He misses the stars already.

The man clears his throat. “Well, I’m glad you’re taking this better than the rest of your cult.”

Cult. Huh. That’s a weird word. Like, everyone knows they’re a cult, but you just don’t _say_ it.

He stands up, on his own, still rejecting the hand the man offers him, and looks around again. Not a single soul from the People’s Church in sight. “What happened to the rest?”

The man smiles, a kind, warm smile, so unlike the ones the people from the church gave him. “We took care of them.”

It’s such a dark thing to say with genuine happiness. But, if Johann is being honest, he does feel at ease now. A real Deus Ex Machina this turned to be.

“What about me?” Johann asks. “Are you here to “take care of me” too?”

“That depends. Are you with The Dark, too?”

Johann has known the answer to that question for a long time now. “No,” he says, “I’m alone.”

There’s the sound of heavy steps approaching, and Johann takes a step back, expecting the shadow of Mother Eloisa. He knows it’s unlikely to see her out, when it’s so bright outside, but if anyone can turn a new day into night again, it’s her.

“You can go,” the man says.

Johann looks at him, confused. He had the feeling they weren’t done yet, but between asking what is it that he wanted to ask and finally getting away from the church…

Johann runs towards the forest. It’s darker there, but he can see just fine. It’s quiet, too. He turns back just once, to see if anyone is following him, but all the people around the church have vanished.

***

Killian doesn’t even act surprised when she reaches Avi again.

“He had nothing to do with them,” Avi says, hands in the air. Not that there needs to be an explanation, but Avi wants to make sure Killian wouldn’t go after the guy. If anyone could find him now, it was her.

“What’s gotten into you?” Killian asks instead. “First you save his life, now you let him go. Did you even ask any questions?”

“You know me, I’m just a big softie.”

Killian raises an eyebrow. She can smell the bullshit from a mile away.

Avi finally sighs, and gives her an apologetic smile. “Do you believe in love at first sight?”

He expects her to either roll her eyes or curse at him. What he gets instead, is a look of concern.

“Avi,” Killian says, “he has just been claimed by the Lonely.”

Avi’s smile fades. “I know.”

He looks at the forest again. Avi only regrets not asking for his name.

**Author's Note:**

> See you on [tumblr](https://avijohann.tumblr.com) .


End file.
